/-o-\Stiletto/-o-\

2003-01-20T07:35:00.000-08:00

Well i'm back home now, no longer in Moncton, and i've got to say yay! althought i love going to moncton big time
my bed was so comfy i coulda stayed in it forever, and damn mom's cooking is good, don't get me wrong
macdonalds and pizza is fine everyday, for a WHILE, and tree daysd is good enough for me.
my dog missed me and was glad iwas home, i missed her too, it was great everything's all good. hehe
my hair is soooo soft, thanks to whoever shampooi used when ui took a shower at ians, lol
anywyas i juts woke up and i'm chatting with seb, and about to have another cigarette
i'm quitting when i'm done what i have but i refuse to watse this batch considering i paid sooo much
for them.i'm kinda hungry thinki might eat something too, probabaly a banana.
hmm well, i guess i'll update later.

adios bella

the dancers gather water each one by one, hoping that the water will let them have fun, spaalshing here splashing there creating vegeatation everywhere, the world is back, but cleaner and sweet, soon butterflies begin to come around.

2003-01-19T14:37:00.000-08:00

The land of Stiletto had overflown with lava and i left my notebook on across the mongo orchard. finally things subbsided msot of the dancers were killed other killed them selves from anghst it's a horrible site, sand, and ashes eveywhere the mountian is stillbeautifull, but crowded so here i sit on a burned rock, and watch the dancers mourning frol all of their losses, and it's sad, the emotions i feel are confusing yet real.

What a crazy time i've been having, i've been getting in and out of relationshipos, and msot recently was in a mental institution, for trying yet again to harm myself, which i had no intentions of doing, it's horrible, the worst feeling i've ever felt, the helplessnes off all my emotions combined, and thrown in the the water which runs in the wrong driection.
my life was literally a downward spiral of deathy, and doom, with clippings of parsly for garnish, ahhh how horrible yet desirable
drugs, alcohol, sex, danger, anger, irony, death, parties, all so tempting , how can i possibly cleanse my soul again, hopefully i'm set onto the right track again, a GOOd track though iwas drunk last night, and an unknown adult from my house likes to do drugs with me, moderation CAN work for me as long as my greediness doesn't take over my soul.

here's my list of words and phrases for the past while that should explain it all:

booze
drunk
alcohol
sex
drugs
party's
doom
depression
pills
sleep
lack
emotion
tornado
fast food
boyfriends
girlfriedns
lust
sex
hittiing ion people
dancing
singing
strip poker
starvation
bagel
lisa
laura
ian
sebastien
Mell,
darren
mom
lindsay
katherine
styeve
sparkle
smoking
chain smoking
tobacoo
crying babies
work
naervous breakdowns
pawning
music
cleansing
soukl
mind
body
driving
jeep
video games
boredom
lameness
twqo guys at ionce
craziness
sadness
hatred
dripping blood
suicide
eagerness
hospitals

that'll do for now.

ian and lisa are now offically commited, and have been having sex for exactly, an hour and 48 minutes, i have taken a shpower smoked 15 cigs, and laura and i are bored and i'm typing this up, she's admiring a drug bag from my red bag which is what she's rooting through. and burning a match with ym butane lighter now, which ironicly eenough si shaped as a pistol, lol. anywyas that's all for now.

The dancers slowly gather for a dance of happiness though their world almsot juts ended, the sun shines brigth and flowers are growing form the sand and ashshes, rejoice ferom this new beginning

2002-12-27T10:00:00.000-08:00

HUG WHORE!!!! that's me WOOOOO! i lvoe special things like rasopberry chicien stuff that chris amade was spectauclar and i love p[axillL!!!!

a-b-c-d-e-f-g-h-i-j-k-l-m-n-o-PAXIIILLL!!!
muahah

2002-12-27T09:59:00.000-08:00

to sum it all up, liosas' int he hopsiatal and i foudn this written by me ina journal. i'm drunk right now,as wellas horny happy, excited, and hifgh.

entry:

i have to totaslly stop gettign really wasted and comming on to EVERYBODY, especially people i'm completely NOT attracted to. i see a really hot police officer!!!! DAMN! BABAY!!!
DAMN!!!!

he can touch me anytime.
for sureZ!!

someone like me who is never sober(soootrue) and does so many crazy thinfgs should.. er...wait....and who is SOOO dman sexy and attractive should totally ghet laid more often and maybe have a "friend" turkey gives peopel gas! P-U opopss!

floors get really wet! i really like the word really!! i really do!!!!!!!!

MmMmmMmM turkey sandwiches!!!!

fuckin shit that toothless gay guiy@!!! really though!!!

the hot guys all LEFT!!!!!! BOO!!!!
i wish anyone woukld come and talk me into pleasuble sx activities
BYE NOW LOVE YOU BUDDY!!!

JAimy

i must abeen fucked wonder wher eiwas?? anwyyas back to my wine!
later

2002-12-14T09:25:00.000-08:00

i didn;t write anything at for yesterday so i willrecap my fabulous night here.

drunk...stoned...moving world,,, coldness,,, cmap,,,,,people sexing. thats' sorta what it's LIKE! uyouy nkow what i mean?>!!1!?!?!

i'ms till wasted i juts got home and i'm listenign to the rnakin family PASH! whatever! i'm leaving you eman retard!!1

asholes! fuckducks!
lisa!!!!! I LOVE YOU MY LOVELY FREIND
kimmi i have no legs anymore. you ddin't stela my grapes form the doilalrrama did you?
apriol farte din tubby's thuis mornign . and darren too. but i didn't!! i'm special eh?
lol.

JUICY MANGOS!!!!!!1

just married.......

FERDLACK!!! we love you man!!!

derrick helped not be stpid byt telling me ot toget themstop sign .
i want toger laid now.
anyone wanna get laid?

i'd b more thna willnig right now,...

STAFF PARTY TODAY!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

gotta wrap alicia presents.! and get a btah and wash ymself in uynmnetionalble palces!!!

moo.

AHHHH! lol
majo/ opui!
OOOH!

2002-12-12T19:01:00.000-08:00

i know i nkow i said i wouldn't come online when i finished work but i wnated to anwyays.
poo i saw the payor chasing a n injured pigeon this mornin. anm a used coindom on agaerbage can in front of the catholic hurch. lol.
i worked my ass off today,

i'm not in the mood for this.

*hudes in a mnago tree with a pigeon an sings loudly with the music *

2002-12-12T09:21:00.000-08:00

k i'm juts makign this quick and i won't be on again today since i work ina liess than ahlf an hour, untill late then i have tio coem home and watched survivor which my mom better tape for me. or else, i'llfreak out big t8me, thne i go to ebd and work at 9 am. wondefuflli try and psot my eventd form todat before work tomorrow, or after, i work till5 tomorrow. yuck.
i thinki have a cyst on ym chin, it aint pretty pretty gross actually.
well i gotta eat and brush now! ttyl!

Lisa: Glad mikes back, we'll do ocffee soon. maybe tomororw night of we're not totally wastedor anything
Kimmi: hmmm. chew carefulli had a dream you choked on bread alst night and almsot deid, also you were wearing my underpants on your ear.
anyoen esle HAve fun!!!

*runs in fear from mob of angry cha cha dancers*

2002-12-11T22:15:00.000-08:00

ahhH! late i woprk in less than 12 hours i need sleep!

*finds candy on the ground. feeds it to a little monkey, goes and picks a fruit off wone of the mnay delicious local fruit rees,tropical paradise is amazing even if peopel are dancing to death*

2002-12-11T21:19:00.000-08:00

ok there we have it, new look!, it's betetr i think becasue my html and posisitiong was all emsed up in ym last template!, poo-knickers.

the world is fileld with lies and double standrs too mnay today/tonight to go on about, i changed my info to info about the stilleto dancin competition world. it rhymes. but the linage is off with this tempalte,. who cares when you rea dit you nkow.

fuckers

i'm alo going to ask lisa, and kimmi, if theyw nat to ahve a team blog, kind alike patrick and his friends candy'boys one. but ours willbe shittier, and stuff, and just for other reaosn besides these. lol. i dunno thatwas ointless.
OMFG! i missed the amazing race! i'll have tow atch late! POOOO! i'm sooo thirsty but ym sister ruiend the juice! add 3 cans NOT 4!!!! three!!! bot flur!!!! ahhhhhhhh!!!!!

anwyays i have nothing else to say m belly is nice again! sorta.

mom is drinking steve just got home and started on the beer theroty. lol wonderfull.

dan and i had a nice hat tonight on msn.
actually kim and i did as well,

we did cryptograms and stuff she's come to town now, so she's no longer online.

hmm what sort of interesting list or thing could i do now?

OH god the juice is gross, but drinkable nice flavor, but waterend sdown too.

i drnak it and i gotta pee bad but i don't want to clib stairs.

lol.

i'm weairtng lisas clogs thats eh elft here my fet wee cold and once again the damn stairs!
neto html timea!!!

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damn that IS enough i'm neat=-o html test thingy'd out. lol
time to post this entry!

*walks along the blood stained walkways and heads to the pond to watch the fish skeletons getcrushed by fat mud wrestlers*

2002-12-11T15:47:00.000-08:00

Okay quick post, i refuse to aknoweldge anything that happeend earlier i finished the bookit was great, tonight at supper mom and i were discussing all our problems with each other and i said lisas'a voice amde me feel ebteterr earleir during the bout i ahd, and i started to cry but for no reason, i just sat there eatign and crying. it was too weird. i'm a freak. lol

cam eonline changed me msn name:

Délicieusement rebelle Mais soumise à l'envie Tu l'entends comme un appel Alors réagis

chattign with a good new net friend becasue we understand each other and have similar thoughts,
steph! if your reading this, have fun!!!!!

ok well thats nall for now. i'm gonan go give steph the link now,

and you can all go fuck yourselves if you don't like my typing errors i am a fast typer but not a good one.
lol

*giggles eildly and joins the dancers ont he floor*

2002-12-11T11:18:00.000-08:00

As soona s i finished wriitng my last blog las night, i called lisa up and soon we were meeting at the trainb station again, ready to have soem coffee, mmm(my treat)(i typing this so slwoely ebcause i keeps toppnig to sing at the top of ym lungs
*sings* I HAAAAAAAAAVE A DREEWEEEAAMMMM!!!!!!*finishes*
fuckers
lol so we went and had d coffe ti was good, there wa sa big family of tourists siiitng clos eot us and theywere very facinated with us i think. lol. they stared at us thw whole time and they were bad at trying to not be ehard when theyt alked about us. they saw lsias lower back tatto, and thye were amazed rtotally, and they wondered why iwas wearing a studded collar, lol i t was amausin ebsides a third of the time lsias wa sont he phone with her hopey guy, and then we chatted with ryah mallery for a while about ceel phone, lesbians, and working, lol.it was interesting. either way we were suppsoe togo to aprils and keep ehr bored, and loneley self company, but i never called her when we finsiehd like we were suppsoed to, instead we went to lsiasa agian. we watched a greta moveiwe both love, called death becomes her, with meryl streep and goldie hawn, both of whom i love to watch, then we did the computer thing untill4:30 am. then i went home, and conned her into walking, me, fromn ow on i swear i'llwalk ehr halfwhen when she elaves here.

I SWEAR

Melissa gallant from spring hill is on msna nd bothering me wiht brad questions.
*pretends to eb a model and gags*
fuckers

so anyways i got home and read untill like 7 am thne i decided i should sleep ,i was wide awake and not tired a bit, lol. but i slept and woke up todat around 1 pom, and bathed untill quarter after 2, lol, then i hate rasperry ripple ice cream for breakfast, i'm outmof cycle!!! i need a bagel i'll go have one ina few min. lol lol. my grandfather walked in. but i'd rather not aknowledge that such a defect is related to me, why can't the girl go to his house and be baysat, that'd make my lfie so much easier, becasue i hoenstly hate him.
no lies
fucker

lisa was talknig to some guy anmed mark alst night thatwe foudn on FTJ, he's good looking and they ahve alot in common, but he's afraid of ugly hyper girls, that's strange mayeb he would eb scared of some ofm our friends,
(not lsia)
lol
either way.
lol.
i just been reading that diary book i borrowed from the library it's getitng good,
and katehrien just got home, so i may go take another bath, if i cna't contact nayone out there to help me,a nd save me from the amdness of ym household,
hich would be this

alcoholic stepfather who uis like dr jekyll, he ahs two sides a emaner oen after the potion.
mother is phychotic, and get's a twop eyar odl emntally and breaks down often, she also like to drink, but she does not ge tmena d she get;'s incredibly stupoid and annoying.
the oldest of ym two little sisters lindsay is a mormon, but she's nasty, has no respecct for my mpother descision, stays out late, abd makes my mombreak down., she also ahs a strange new hair colro everyday, i sa wit a few days ago in shades of green, red, and bleach blonde with ehr dark brown roots.
KAtehrine the youngesat child is more annoyign everyday, and she challneges everytnibng., even tot he point of getting slapped acoprss the mouth, once she pissed me off so abd i pickled ehr up off the ground by ehr hair and she encouraged me to kepe pulnigebcaus eit was'nt hel;ping any, she still ddin't stop but thens he ahd an ice pack ob her ehad all night, she ahs a bad attitude and nobody can stand it, at all.

my dog, (sparkles) stares when you eat i'm the only one who stops ehr ebcause i HATE when she does it,. it's horrible. she also lieks to steal our food for off our palets and tabels when she thinks we are not watchign for me this result isn kciking ehr accross the room, and scremaing at ehr so koudly she runs upstairs and hides under my mom's bed.

see i'm no different my family is starneg too. lol

i'm litenign to l'indifference over and over again, becaue it's a greta song, i nkow all the words, can sign udnectablew with L5, and it's blocks out any other noise such as katherine peep hole, and my grandfathers stupid views on life(example:b rush your hair starting no the elft sid eor i'llhit you with a coffe mug, and YES he ahs done this to my sisters and then i grabbed hima dn threw him no the floor, and i WILL do ti again if he hit my gils AT ALL))
i hope he deis soon so my children never have ti nkow him.

my rela father is a mystery to em, but i just pictured him,
i have not rhear form him in almsot three eyars, he even stopepd callign to wish himself a happt fathers day. as far as i'm concerend.. you have to actually be a father, in order, to be wished a happy fathers day.
o there you have it,
. my grandfather is czlling ym anme now but i'm paying o attention, i'm not allowing my sister to sue ym cell, because it copsts me daytime minutes, and so what i'f i'm tieing up the line. i'm busy she can walk to the house bening ours to se eher friend.

Anywa si just thrww everything i could reach at hima nd punch hima few times.

assholes

nywasa i'm gonig tot ake anothe bath now, and i hope someone else freaks out at mne, i have plenty of force to unleash upon my victems.

fucker.
i hope he drops dea dof a heart attack.

the end

*runs way scremaing head off and hoping to die*

2002-12-10T17:00:00.000-08:00

My day was avergae, actually i sang on my way to work i was happy all day long, i wa skidna liek the kitchen perosn i got to do all the cookni and andwiches and donuts etc for the first while. after that iwen on cash and made like all dolalr tips! iwas so proud too bad Tim stole them all and elft quickly.
FUCKERSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!

I had to pay for ym supoper in Pennies i was "madangry" as hell.

i tect message dlisa at work lol i tried when i coudl i'd run to the bathrooma nd hide nehid the door. lol
and janet and i discussed phychiscs spirt mediums, ghosts, movies, adn urban legedns and we both confessed that we scretly like Celine dion. LOL
fuckers now whoeevr reads this will nkow.

psh as if i care what anyone thinks.

fuckers

i got home early lsia and i arer eventually going to go and get some coffee

i'm listening to don';t waste my time by Jacynthe, i love this song is so nice, her voice is a fabukous, and the song is so nice.

the search for a new..possible dating perosn type of thing goes undocumented, which i will choose to mean that it;s VERY unsuccesfull,
here are some of the reaosn i think it's going so bad.

I am juts naturall unattractive, and i don't mean looks wise i eman. peopel just don't want me that way.
I'm too good of a friend to everyone.
i am too open.
i tend do scare peopel off i think i have no proff of thsi but i think it's true.
i dress too strange sometimes
i ahve odd taste in music.
i'm looknig in all the wrong places.
i;'ve been seen with peopel such as Jennifer melloy, LAura-lee mAson and Kimberly Bird (this si not a abd thing you can fuck youself if you don;'t like it)
i can't be takens seriouskly.

ther ei listed enough to do it, before ia mde myself feel sorry for myself. there's no way anyone can counter any of those. or at leats i don't think so.
maybe i don't even want one of these peopel tobe with, especially if i'm sure lisa wouldn't liek them.

to answer something she said.
the way i feel about lisa's sexual escapades. is. i am concerned for her weelbeign always, but i trust her, andhave confidence she wouldn't do anything stupid. plus msot fo the guys seem like ncie people so far. exceopt for allt he oens who hated me.
they amde me want to scream.
espceially since i've never nkown anyone or hung out with anyone who didn;'t like lisa. but even still she hung out with the anwyas. but i woudln't ask her to sompromise our friendshipbecasue someoen doesn't liek me.
which possible lotsa of peopel don't?
also i think that there were a few peopel who needed to read what happeend, becase thebn maybe they's know how lsia felt. i'm talknig about her blog entry form last night btw.

yeah,

right now she's not mindidn as i do this entry up and not tlak to her.

i'm also listening to song i'm not proud of liking.
so i will not reveal the name or who it is by.

fuckers

I think i'lltry anothe rone of those listy things.
ok let'ss ee i'll name three things i like ebst about peopel i nkow.

ME: i like my eyes, i like that i stay fitm, and healthy, I like everything msuical about me
Lisa: i liek lisas honestly, i like that she is a huge RHPS fan, i like lisas legs.
Kim i like ho kim doesn't care about what others think, i like a few of kims stories, i like kim's bad dance moves
Bagel: i like bagels singing voice, i like bagelsdeformed nipples, i like her hair
Laura-Lee: i like laura's eyes, i like that laura tries singign even thguoht she obviously can't, i like her anger problem
Daren: i like THE MASK, i like his friendlyness, i like that he hitchiked to amherst to see bagel fter his aprents forbid him to
MacLean: he likes basement jaxx, i liek that he lsot against me but very closesly in the deepthroat a dildo contest, his laugh!!!
T-jay : i liek that he's a vegetarian I liek that he always drink way too much i like that his mom is cool

ok there that's enough lisa left me alone on msn!
fuckers!!!!!!!!!

my mother just yeleld at me for havinbg msuic on in here, and i told ehr to fuck off and all she could counter me with was

"fuck off yourself"
then she pulled her twop eyar odl act, and tried to amke me feel abd that she wnats to realex. i worked twice as hard as she did.
she juts sits in an offfice chair doing papaer work and eating all day.

*cringes in anger and wonders why the other watcher dissapeared, twiddles thumbs waiitnfg for a sign that it's okay to push the eldelky dancers off the cliff*

2002-12-10T07:45:00.000-08:00

LAright i know i'm back AGAIN!
so go fuckyourtself if you don't like it.
fuckers
i'm in ym drabby uniform my bretah smelslas liek an ionion bnagel,a nd i REALLY want to brush my theeth by steve is int he washroom shopwerting and stuff, so i gotta wait hopefully he's done soon, i have to work at 12, and it's 11:27 now. i 'll elave at 11:40. but i need to brush ym teeth! again.
fuckers

so i was lsietneign to my wonderufll Pink cd as usual while i put on ym favorite clothes *yawn* and an*gags* hairnet and i FOUND it the sogn that describes how i fele today.
oh and byt theway i can move, i'm awake anf full,a nd ready to work. but my feet stillhurt.
eek.

its greta ehre lemem quote some of it.

"Lyin' awake watchin' the sunlight
How the birds will sing as I count the rings
around my eyes
Constantly pushing the world I know aside
I don't even feel the pain, I don't even want to
try

I'm lookin' for a way to become
The person that I dreamt of when I was sixteen
Oh, nothin' is ever enough
Ooh, baby, it ain't enough for what it may seem

Do you even know who you are?
I'm still tryin' to find
A borrowed dream or a superstar?
Everybody wants to be
Is life good to you or is it bad?
I can't tell anymore
Do you even know what you have?
No "
- Pink "lonely girl"

that's a great section. af how i fele today.
but i'll lighten up at the sight opf my coworkers and all the elderly constomers!!!
*big toothy grin*

ok i think i'll puke now, that's actually a really drepersing thoguht.
not only the whoels igh fo work. but the thoguth of beign elderly someday.
it's too far aehad to think about.

and i also found soem toher very menauigfull ylrics. here :

oh my god it's so eprfect too. it's totally the lisa/teej issue and the RIGHTNESS about it ina a song

"You sing a song and people jump on you
What this guy is sayin' can't be true
All I'm sayin's that some girls who trip
Stop buggin' and buggin' him if they wanna flip
I like the Spice"

&

"Open your eyes, girl you trouble me
Expensive lies but you play it for free
I gave you what you want what you need
My time is wasting but for you it's a breeze"

&

"You're out of your mind
Gonna make this really easy for you
I'm not out of my mind
Gonna show you I'm not crazy
Boy, you're wasting my time
I'm not wasting your time
(They say that I'm chasing you)
You're out of your mind
You're out of your mind (it's strange)
Out of your mind"
Victoria Beckham & truesteppers "outta your mind"

tell emt hat is nOT perfect! it so is!
psh! fuckers

i'll do another neat=o who am i html thing b4 i go. then i gotta go to work i 'm elaving in 4 min.

shott it 11:41 i'ma dubm as aand is tillg otta brush .
OH WELL

'm donig one of those thingys!

never midn no i'm not.
fuckers

*dances off into distance whilst grumbling about thingy's*
FUCKERS!!!!!!!

2002-12-10T06:34:00.000-08:00

Ok so i went offlien as soon a si said bye to lisa, but i actualyl went to the couch and attemted toread a diary, only toget threeentries in and fallasleep this mornign i woek up the phopne ringin and my mom saying ui'm up, coem now. muts have been ym frampie then or soem reaosn (probabaly for the sake me beign able to take a bath) i asked mom to call me at 9:30 so i woudlget up anfget ready for work.
the way everything feels right can be described in simple imagery, i feel liek i was hit by a train. i really do. my whoel body is tired, relaxed, i'm sleepy, i almsot feel high, muscles hurt, feet hurt worse, i fellasleep in ym bathtub while astempting toreasd further on in the diary. poo. i'm losing my ateention span.
fuckers

so i threwon pants and a tee, and came down torea dlsias blog, whichwas a description of what happened in the first palce. which is good, becasue i think a LOT of people need toread it. totally.
i didn't think naymore baou the issuesof last night, i still havn;t except toread baout them in ehr Blog.

i feel awfulL!

i did hopwever get to plug my phone inotmto charge form 6:30-ish untill 9:30-ish soit's full battery again. well for now.

Lisa: very neat how you used such a good song to quote. that is my theme sogn totally, everyrhitng they say is really close to home, and accurate about the perosn i am.

a aprt i reall like is this one:

"we decide to go out walking
the whole time that you're talking
convinced that we're living
whole time that we're dying"
-Tegan and sara "the first"

as well as

"on the edge of town where the gravel's thin they're
gonna wear you down
until you're thin and tired tired tired"
Tegan and sara "the first"

right now a song's lyrics to describe how i'm feeling now, would be.... hmmmmm. erm..... hmm. um.... let's see,

fuckers
i can';t thinkof ANYTHING at all.
i'm sych a dickhead.
fuckers

I thibk if everyone was named afetr their most prominent character trait we'd know alot more about eachother from the start.

me: OverAnylitic
Lisa: Smooth
Kim: Blind
Bagel: Open
T-jay: riteous
Laura-lee: seeking
Daren: innocent
MacLean: Free
Laura: Bland

hmm did i leave anybody out?

doesn't that make sense. only peopel would go around nameless if they were named this way untill they found themselves when they were older. it's my opinion about it. i think everyone should amke one of thses lists it's really takes soem weight off your mind. lol

i work in an hour and a half i better wake up! mmm maybe some tea.
and a bagel. MMmmMM
and when i say MmmM to a BAgel, i mean the dough kind, Not April,
but to be honest i hate the Name april, as much as i hate celbreating the differnces by one aapect.

OoooH! i think i'll do one of those nifty HTML whoare you thingy's now!

ok i found a fun one!

What's YOUR sexual fetish?
brought to you by Quizilla
naywyas i'm in nee dfo preperation for work.
adios

*skips away whimsically ina a construction workers uniform*

2002-12-09T23:24:00.000-08:00

i gre uneays and tired as their discussin grew even more heated. and i then said lisa wlak me to the trainstation whuich is the midway poit between both our homes she did . i came home changed afte ri came online and as it turns out to the figuartyions of ym ehad they are still disputing, ot whatever they choose to callit oversoemthing.
this si how it worked up to now.

pixia says:
emotional as in he upset me
Ca ne me touche pas, ça ne m’atteint pas, Non je ne laisserai jamais personne me montrer du doigt says:
oh.
Ca ne me touche pas, ça ne m’atteint pas, Non je ne laisserai jamais personne me montrer du doigt says:
same topc still?
Ca ne me touche pas, ça ne m’atteint pas, Non je ne laisserai jamais personne me montrer du doigt says:
topic*
pixia says:
kinda
Ca ne me touche pas, ça ne m’atteint pas, Non je ne laisserai jamais personne me montrer du doigt says:
how is it dif?
pixia says:
he says that im controled by my anger

how does that make sense?
fuckers
that's exactly what i asked her only to get a a scream as a response.
i need sleep, ret, painkillers.

her's news. i'm TOTALLY unafected whatsoever by the whole issue.
i care about it. becasue lisa is on eof my best friends.
but. it's so pointless what i waste of time and energy.
i don't think it willend the way it should. whichis it being totally kicked under the couch after being completely DROPPED>

my opinion howver does not matter. becaseu it had NOTHING to do with me.
i can't help but ponder all the spossibilities again.

he has he's hurt/confused/ at the fact that she'd compromise their freindship over the fact that eh might want toget to nkow her sister better.
here's the thing.
he's a hypovryte for saying this becasue HE"S the one compromsiing the freindship by even suggestign it, because he knows exactly where she stands.

to t-jay it's a cntest to try and get lisa to welt him in on laura.

to lsia it's about the fact that her papaer doll sibling moved in on what lisas' been amrking for quite soem time,. and laughed about it.
her's a nother gragement of what lsias has to say:

pixia says:
HE DOES not UNDERSTAND YTHAT THE REASON *deep breath* the reason that im getting so mad about all this is that she got all over him on purpose saturday night!
pixia says:
he thinks im mad cause she laughed about it
pixia says:
SHE LAUGHED CAUSE SHE DID IT ON PURPOSE!
pixia says:
FUCK!

makes sense to me.
so why must the waste perfectly good time on such a doomed topic?
why am I dwelling on it?

becasue it's the news right now.

an more epacefull frequencies i decided to figure out feng shui
(pronounced fung shway) and try and make my life easier byt aranginf funiture special.
does that even make any sense at all?
i don't think it does.

i don't thinki liek that i'm back to work. i work froim noon untuill8 tomorrow. that's an AWFULL shift. i hate it.
maybe whoever it is will elt me go early on acocunt of buisness being slow.
i doubt this very much
fuckers.
plus i need the $$$$$$dollahs$$$$$$$$
fuck fuck fuck! who invented working for money anywas?

it should be handed out to whoever needs it. and deserves. it.
i should seel myself on the blackmarket for ym 2million or so dolalrs and have whoever pays for me donate me to lisa.
then she'll elt em go home and i'll ahev cash.
i'll buy a a house, and move my peopel in,. and resolve plenty.
AND
go no plenty of shopping trips.
and road trips.
and get a betetr job tyhat i enjoy more. like a piercing artists.
HAHAHAHQ ui wish

there goes the fantasy reel again.
poo-knickers.

Yet another staff member told me a secret, why do peopel always tell em their secrets at work.
now DOn't think em unrelaiable to keeposecrets but i told my asisstant manager the secret ebcause it wass tupid. well to us it ias maybe not for mis witnes prtection prgram.
peopel elive she's doen school.
(at 17? PLEASE)
wit that's possible. but the point is she told me she quit and lied toget the job by sayign shewas done.

maybe she just feels betetr having peopel think she isn't a quitter.
i have no finished schooll but a phychci told us that would happend years ago.
no suprise there.

update on lisa's and i's conversation about theirs.
:

pixia says:
thwere
Ca ne me touche pas, ça ne m’atteint pas, Non je ne laisserai jamais personne me montrer du doigt says:
what are you doig just talknig on phone?
pixia says:
i TOLD him
Ca ne me touche pas, ça ne m’atteint pas, Non je ne laisserai jamais personne me montrer du doigt says:
told him what?
pixia says:
and typing blog
pixia says:
what happened with springhill
Ca ne me touche pas, ça ne m’atteint pas, Non je ne laisserai jamais personne me montrer du doigt says:
i wndered that? what does that ahve to do with this?
pixia says:
cause the same thing happened in springhill
pixia says:
now hes saying im reading too much
pixia says:
into things.
Ca ne me touche pas, ça ne m’atteint pas, Non je ne laisserai jamais personne me montrer du doigt says:
he's countering you on everything.
Ca ne me touche pas, ça ne m’atteint pas, Non je ne laisserai jamais personne me montrer du doigt says:
why don't you both drop it?
pixia says:
i know
pixia says:
IM TRYING
Ca ne me touche pas, ça ne m’atteint pas, Non je ne laisserai jamais personne me montrer du doigt says:
your wasting your life on this.
pixia says:
naw

*confuzzled*
i think i need to sleep now. and maybe try and not think about where to put my feet.
i thinkit may work.

fuckers fuckers fuckers.

*sings* jimmy crack corn and i dont care~*

why the FUCK is that in my head?~?~?~~?~~?

I wonder what lisa's blog says?

hmmmmmmmMmm.
i can guess, thers something about this whole train wreck of an issue.
fuckers.

I NEED to sleep now i will i'm leaving i swear.
i'm going. really!

i ahve a a song quote to ass becasue i think it ays alot about life,

" they build you up so they can tear you down
trust the ocean you'll never drown
who's it now? who's gonna steal your crown?"
-Melanie C "Northern Star"

she now tells em she wants to fuck tegg's older half brother jason...
and that the feeling is mutual..

:
pixia says:
lol. i wanna bang JASON!!!!!!!!!!!
pixia says:
and he wants to bang ME!!!
Ca ne me touche pas, ça ne m’atteint pas, Non je ne laisserai jamais personne me montrer du doigt says:
so bang him.
Ca ne me touche pas, ça ne m’atteint pas, Non je ne laisserai jamais personne me montrer du doigt says:
but it puts you toally in the wrong.
pixia says:
nah

it does thought really think about it,. it makes lisa a hypocryte and it makes her the holder of a a BAAAAD double standard. and it amkes me like Jenni melloy, by accepting it becasue lisa is my friend and i know her well.
we own one ofeach other reproductive parts.

that sounds horrible. that soudns as though i ahve one of her fallopian tbes as a bracelet! YUCK

she'd be in the worng, but i don;'t think he should thinkt hat if she fucks jaosn it's ok for him to fuck laura it's not.
and that makes me fucked up too.

i need to be ina a lobe triangle! i need sex with my lovers sibliongs. i NEED double standards.
then i'd have more to say.

update on convo:

pixia says:
teej and i just talked about it
Ca ne me touche pas, ça ne m’atteint pas, Non je ne laisserai jamais personne me montrer du doigt says:
what does he say?
pixia says:
hed just have to bang my sister...
Ca ne me touche pas, ça ne m’atteint pas, Non je ne laisserai jamais personne me montrer du doigt says:
i'm JEnni.
Ca ne me touche pas, ça ne m’atteint pas, Non je ne laisserai jamais personne me montrer du doigt says:
and i hate the thought of it
pixia says:
jenni?
pixia says:
how?
Ca ne me touche pas, ça ne m’atteint pas, Non je ne laisserai jamais personne me montrer du doigt says:
becasue i think it's okayfor you to fuck jason, but it's not for teeh to fuck laura, becasue, yourmy bestfriedn and i nkow you well, and it makes me have a double standard. and it's the whole jennifer versus bisexuality thing al over with a new topic.

OOooOO! i DO have a double standard!

YAY!

but alas no love triangles.
or whatever the many sided shaope of lsias sex lfie is...

pixia says:
makes sence

POO!!!!!!
i'm so going to bed now. i need to stop thiking this over so much!

*swims through an ocean of sweaty dancing bodies to the top of the hill, clibsa a tree and watches in silence as he drifts off to sleep*

2002-12-09T22:01:00.000-08:00

Ok well last night i tried to go to ber early with many failed attmpts, i ate the nauseating chicken. the thought of it makes me want to throw up right now, my insomnia reasons remain the exact same. i don't know where to put my feet i really don't nkow what it is about it either! i just, nothing EVER feels right when it comes to the posisition of my feet while i sleep(yawn-some rhymes) i think perhaps i think about thta fact too much. it was the night befor ym frist day back to work. and i slept maybe 3 hours. and when i began to drema about my work palce, and it's peopel tha;s when ym alarm went. off.
fuckers

this mornign i got ready for work and POO! i didn'[t use the ector-vibrate optio on ym toothbrush because i did'nt think that i coudl stand the feel of ym ahnd vibrating wildly becaue of a contraption for brushing teeth, so i did it the old fashioned way. i ddin't eat. i elft and my lungs almsot colapsed i seriously coud NOT breathe!

have you nay fucking ideas how cold it is at 6 am in the mornign in Amherst ND when it's below 40 windchill? fuck no!
fuckers

workwas fine. peopel fired, quit, replaced, things changed. my fav co-workers are still the sameas they were. i had fun. i laughed i got good tips. i ate good lunch . i also disocvered the fact that i had a staff meeting tonight at 9:00 pm! the neve
fuckers.
lisa and i huing out before that fact. we listened to tunes, found out how much we are woth in american dollar son the black amrket. she is 1 million 9 hunder thusand somethin quite above average. i was 2 millino something way above. we also weigh exactly the same. how strange. kimmi, was totally odd tonight. and we got drustrated. totalle.. euchy. not kim, but the whole ordeal.
fuckers fuckers ACK!!!

we ate bagels. and they were dleicious. MMmmmmM everything bagels from my work are to die for.
the staff mettign was cool, limited people, laughter, fun, except tim he was beign a crank ass.
fucker! crank ass! CRANK ASSSSS!!!!!!!!! he'ss till coll thouh, but very clueless i think. we had fre coffe, and learned about the renovations we'llbe having and how we get o work ina trailor. lol. lso leaned that i'm now being forced to suggestive sell specific things,
fuckers
"would you like a muffin with that donut?" make sense? ha i think not.
fuckers
thye ended up coing all us off duty peopel to help them close the palces. i got to mop. i calle dlsia on ym cella dnwe chatted,. it was fun. ppl talked about it. in th kitchen. i took ym time too. washed them floors good.
fuckin good yeah! woo!

i camew to lisas (wher eis till am by the way) we did stuff, and i teached her blog stuff, and winamp, and got her lsit going, then we sta here and juts downlaoded msuic forever. and sshe brosed a group we attempted a sex toy site, i read a thing about tegan and sarah ion a dyke website. it was cool.we downlaoded MORE music,. litned to it asll. and then T-jay called. and that's where the story Moves the stiletto dancers to the tip of the death cliffs..........
ready?

this is the biggest controversy i've ever witness from Lisa.
ther's a majot double standard, unknown facts. and none of us. even me can keep track of anything. but one hing is for sure. things are being repeated over and over, and they are both on the ,major defense for themselves. bygons can't be bygones. becasue they feel like dwelling on it. for something new to do.
the point is.
don't ever sleep with lisas's cardboard cutout sister, and try to think you can sill be aprt of lisas' little world. IMPOSSIBLE.
fuckers
(lisas siter had gotten so weird over the years and she agreesa and thanks me for this)
*is hitting himself repeatedly*
WHY? WHY YOU ASK?
*casually dances off clif fof death*
*dies horible death form landing on millinos of fallen stiletto dancer and is stabbed millinos oif times from spike heels*
i openely confessed the fact that laura is stale as prison bread. while she was near and in listening distance.
i r dumb
*slaps himself again*
oh well. i won';t dwell. not now. becasue i never finisged the cobroversy talk.

i'll seperate this nito wrogns and rights based on ym opinions

RIGHTS
you can not sleep with lisas siter. you don;t do that to her.
T-jay is right about double standards.
lisa is NOT attatched.
you cna't understand them liek i do becasue you havn't known them as lnog
Laura has the perosnality of a a sea cucumber(did you nkow they ahve an IQ of 3?)
Lisa ahs total rights to defense mechanisms. becasue a tnder aplce is being countered.

WRONGS
The double standard is SOO wrong
Lisa can't slepe with JAosn(tegg's bprhter) and think it';s right for her and not right for Teeg to sleep with HER sister.
Devon is a fucker.
Teejay just WON'T understand that there are deeper than resolvable issues and he should elt it go
They won't let this topic go. at all.

that's just what i think.

l;emme name single words that describe the whole ordeal.

scandalous, viscious, fingerpoiting, unfair, misunderstanding, harsh relaity's, grudges,

her's what i think.
this is even about what they are alking about.
i think T-jay was geting atached to LISA. and she slept with unmentionable.
and he's jealous.
she seesm upset now. anbd says she's beign shot down.

where do i go from here?
i really don;'t nkow.
do i have an connundrums to think about?..............
fuckers...
um....
LET ME CLEAR THIS UP

the EGG came first NOT the CHICKEN!!!!
and this si so easily solved why are peopel so dumb.
does anyone recallt hat dinosars once ruled our planet? i do. does anyone actually think about the fact that there were eggs there befoe chickens even exsited. and the fact that birds are descendants of these monsters form porehistoric times. so he egg was first. obviously.

i belive in eveolution, not creation by magic powers so this si a great therory to go by. i'm so glad i got that off my chest.

Lisa is upset i think they shoudld rop it and go back to their "usual convos" whatever those may eb about.

i'm doen ehre. for lack of anything else.
fuckers

*recovers and resurrects form mounds of dead bodies, and the ocean of blood and guts.*

2002-12-08T18:03:00.000-08:00

i changed a bucnh of thisngs, and added links, hope it looks good.
fuckers

2002-12-08T17:46:00.000-08:00

fuckers

2002-12-08T17:32:00.000-08:00

Okay it's noe sometime in the eving, or possibly, night, i found out froma phone call that i have to work VERY VERY early tomorrow morning, and i'm ttoaaly excited. *yawns* my friedns are all out having a a party without me again, and i'm also sharing my cell hpone's tect messgaing service with my pal laura-lee, but she's msotly leadign a targic night which i get to ehar about, lisa never returned, SUPRISE! my dog and i got into a few brawls this aftertoon she's alittle instigiator and act's just liek a 2 year old. i now have bleeidng hands and various lesions to show off to all ym co-workers tomorrow, ALONG with ym new tattoo.

YAY.....

I'm bored completely, and my fruistration meter is slowly descending to 0, after all the trouoble trying to figure out how tog et back to this website and actually be able to type and post a blog.
PSH!
fuckers

Ifeel ill, and have decided i need to ahve one of those healthy relationships, in other words i needa friend, the special kidn you know dating.or whatever it's called. i need somone to rely and some oen to entertainn me when i'm bored. perhaps i'llbe a little more satisfied with my bland life then.

My little sister is now a mormon, mind you ther's nothing wrong with this. but nobody else in the world i know is a mormon, and it's confusing to ym why a 13 year old girl wnats to dedicate her life to the mormonr religion and the church of jesus christ of latter day saints? shouldn't she be out getting in trouble, liknig bopys, ot girls or whatever she prefers, and having fun, instead of spenifg all this time at her new faith's church? maybe no. maybe so

I still have no apetite, i wonder fit hat is a symptom of depression, or stress, becasue i feel liek crying all of the time, for no reason, well ther's reaosns but not things i'd normally bawl over,
like disasters in the news, or a sad part of a a book, movie, tv show, and even some songs.... well let's see if i can find a check list....... Ok got one here we go,
A Depression Symptoms Checklist

http://www.yourlifesuccess.com/

Check any symptoms experienced for more than 2 weeks. If four or more of the symptoms for depression or mania have been checked, physical and psychological evaluation by a physician and/or mental health specialist should be sought.

Symptoms of Depression:

A persistent sad, anxious or "empty" mood. YES
Loss of interest or pleasure in ordinary activities, including sex. YES
Decreased energy, fatigue, feeling "slowed down". YES
Sleep problems (insomnia, oversleeping, early-morning waking). YES
Eating problems (loss of appetite or weight, weight gain). YES
Difficulty concentrating, remembering, or making decisions. NOT REALLY
Feelings of hopelessness or pessimism. SORTA
Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, or helplessness. PRETTY MUCH
Thoughts of death or suicide; a suicide attempt. NOT LATELY
Irritability. SOMEWHAT
Excessive crying. YES
Recurring aches and pains that don't respond to treatment. NOPE

But i've also voerdosed on drugs, and had the flu three times ina a row in the past two weeks, so that might be it too.

who cares
fuckers

i hate bills, BILLS BILLS BILLS i mean liek telephone bills. i ahte getting them i ahte paying them i ahte tgat i'm thre months behind them. i ahte that i've bene out of work with a a back injury and have had no moiney to apy them,

I also hate what i'm wearign right now, but i don't feel like looking good. not right now.

Current Msn name:(*)Ca ne me touche pas, ça ne m’atteint pas, Non je ne laisserai jamais personne me montrer du doigt(*)
Rough Translation: it will not touch me, it will not affect me, i'll never lewt anybody lie to me straight up

it's taken froma that french song lisa and i anylized this morning.

Why is everyone so sexually satisfied? all my friends have it as often as i breathe, i;'ve had plenty of sex so far in my life, so what itr's not that great, i know what i'm misising i don'ty care
fuckers

thjough i'd like to ahve more probabaly, becasue then i'd feel more...sexually desired, i'm a total dork for having just said that.

Possible Goals:

tonight- start another book becasue i finished the one i started this mornign, it was very disapointing, go to bed early, so ic an get up and be a wake for work, Remove remianing nail garnish becasue it';s chippniog away and only the middl;es are still shiny,

This Week- work ALL my shifts, go to bed early on night wher ei have to work the next mornign early, warch all episodes of CSi, and CSI Miami that play this wek, have my me time during the amazing race three, AND survivor, figure out Kimmi, and see if the Anthology is still on. search for potential mate. possibly get laid

I need to clean my bedroom properly again. i hate blankets they end up all tangled and you hve to start it from scrtahc again. i hate cds becasue they are annoying to sort and stuff, i hate giant papaer umbrellas from china that wont stay satnding up on it's on insider of ana italian wine bottle for longer than 3 days. i hate havign WHITE carpetign that get dirty every five minutes, i hate disorganised clothing, but i can't keep them organised longert han 2 weeks. i hate finidng that ina a possible wasted stage of life i put dirty clothes away with clean ones, i should not touch anything in there after i clean. and always wear my work uniform except when i wash it, and while iw ash it inmcould wash me, so that leave s a few moments of nakedness which are easily colcerd by post bathtime towels!
i'm dumb
fuckers

I like to dress though, i enjpy putting clothes togetehr in great combinations and i LOVE looking good, i ahte tapr\ered pants., especially beighe shiny ones. (my work pants) and i hate hait nets. but i also hate getting ahir in my food.
fuckers fuckers fuckers ASSHOLES.

i do not nkow how to make a comment thingy. so just e-mail any comments you may have yto
go fuck yourself fucker.com

red_love_god@goddessmail.com

enjoy your limbs while you have them,and dion't drink any pepsi, OR coke products after the 12h of december hichis this wek i belive,

fuckers.

2002-12-08T11:07:00.000-08:00

oh you can all go fuck yourselves too. because nothing you say is news to me, and i reaslly could care less what you might think of me, or about any of your opinions.
fuckers

2002-12-08T11:05:00.000-08:00

A new world of forever dancing people in stiletto heels for me to sit and watch and laugh as everyone eventually falls to their death from the heights of unharmoniouis competitive dancing. and thus my notes begin..

It is some day in december i think, becasue there is a snow on the grouond, and i can rmebeer that last day of november because iwas at a huge party and got wasted as anything and almsot died or something close to it.

This morning i woke up to the sound of ym bedroom door openeing, not a sneaky creaky opneing, but instead a loud "look! i'm commnig in your room" type of opening, and in enters lisa, dressed in familair clothing, with a huge smile on her face. she jumpsd right on my bed sits half on top of me, and begin's to rattle off the tale of her last night, she was drunk, high, and angry at her sex partner for hiting no her younger more boring has the perosnality of card board sister, and how she left his house, leaving her with him and hour friends bagelm and her lover daren, and slept with a guy we know whos' anme i will not mention for lif eor death reaosn, who apparantly had a massive organ in his underpants, and even more massive than greg said it was. wow. i'm amazed i really am. she ahd a good time i'm glad, where was i? i was ome, bored, baking a chocolate cake and decorating it with the new frostin gun i bought a few weeks ago and forgot to use. eventually we manueverd downstairs and inot the kitchen to eat soem of the untouched m,agical ckae i baked when bagel forgot to call me after she got off work. pooheads. so far today i've had two peopel promise to call em at 6 pm, it's not even 3 yet what am i to do, untill lisa returns from tellnig t-jay off? anyways we got dressed in my clothes, and did out hair an things liek that, and came downstairs again and listened to french music and trnslated it to find out we adore the menaing of the lyrics and the si ging , and msic doesn't hurt either. FABULOUS, totalle. she elft sayign i'llbe right back, to tell him off for hitting on her sister, and i exchanged text messages with darling Rafaella.. i'm no longer angry at kimberly for being a a homiophobic coward. i got over it in 5 minutes. and ranyted to a nurse on a chatline, about supposed equalness,

PRACTICE WHAT YOU PREACH!!!!
if everyone si gonig to keep on insisiting they are the same as anyone else then stop seperating yourselves into groups, and celebratign the differences!
HYPOCRYTES!!!!!!!
fuckers

this appleis to any group of people who celbrate their diffeernces,
such as gay people and their pride days, and other peopel who belive they are different becasue they ahve suffered so much int he apst. so what? so fucking what?

i once had a horrible infected eyebrow piercing removed surgically. i suffered alot,. but i don't go putting myself into ana eyebrow sufferes group do i?
no. celebrate that yuyr different than anyone else. nbot that your different in one aspect.
get a life people.

time to go to the cliffs and watch bulemic supermodels throw themselves off in 3 foot platform shoes.